Public Speaking and vulnerability - why faking confidence is detrimental to our self-esteem

Public speaking is a daunting task for many people.

It's normal to feel nervous and anxious when presenting in front of an audience, but many of us try to hide these feelings by putting on a mask of confidence. 

We might rehearse our words, try to appear as composed as possible, and fake a smile even when we're feeling scared inside. However, this kind of approach can be detrimental to our self-esteem in the long run. 

Instead, being vulnerable and authentic can actually help us become better public speakers.

Firstly, it's important to understand what vulnerability means in the context of public speaking.

Vulnerability means being honest about our feelings and experiences, even if they make us feel uncomfortable. 

It means instead of performing or trying to change who we are, we show up as ourselves.

It means admitting that we don't have all the answers and that we're still learning and growing. When we're vulnerable in front of an audience, we create a sense of connection and authenticity that can be very powerful.

One of the biggest advantages of being vulnerable is that it can help us build rapport with the people we’re speaking to. When we share personal stories or experiences that are relevant to our topic, we create a sense of empathy and understanding. 

We show our audience that we're human, just like them, and that we understand their struggles and challenges. This can help them relate to us and engage with our message on a deeper level.

Another benefit of vulnerability is that it can help us build confidence in ourselves. When we're honest about our fears and doubts, we take away their power over us. 

We acknowledge that it's okay to make mistakes and that we don't have to be perfect. This can be a liberating experience, and it can help us feel more confident in our ability to speak in public.

On the other hand, faking confidence and putting on a mask of perfection can be detrimental to our self-esteem. 

When we try to hide our vulnerabilities, we create a sense of pressure to be perfect. We feel like we have to measure up to an idealized version of ourselves, and we can become very self-critical when we fall short. 

This can lead to a cycle of negative self-talk and anxiety that can make public speaking even more difficult.

In conclusion, being vulnerable and authentic can actually help us become better public speakers. When we're honest about our feelings and experiences, we create a sense of connection and empathy with our audience. 

We also build confidence in ourselves by acknowledging that it's okay to make mistakes and that we don't have to be perfect. On the other hand, faking confidence and putting on a mask of perfection can be detrimental to our self-esteem in the long run. 

So the next time you're preparing for a speech or presentation, try to embrace your vulnerabilities and share your authentic self with your audience. You might be surprised at the positive response you receive.