Why is confidence important? And does it matter if you’re not?
What does confidence mean to you? A good job? A busy social life? An idyllic relationship?
Confidence is in fact none of these. It’s a positive feeling that comes from knowing who you are and believing in yourself.
You might be thinking, “Is it important to be confident?”
The short answer is yes. Because confidence will make you happier being you, which will in turn bring a whole host of meaningful benefits in your personal and professional life.
Read on to discover more about why confidence is important and how it can benefit you if you improve your self-esteem.
What’s the true meaning of confidence?
The definition of confidence is, “the feeling that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something”.
Basically, it’s a belief that you are capable and trust yourself when it comes to making decisions or taking actions.
Our celeb/influencer-driven world is what has made many of us believe that confidence means looking good, having a flashy car or holding down a high-earning job. In fact, none of this is true. The reason why many celebs and influencers ‘appear’ confident is because most of them (not all) believe in themselves and don’t back away from experiences and opportunities that come their way.
Why is it important to be confident?
Is it important to be confident? Should you change yourself if you lack confidence?
Whilst we’re not advocates of ‘changing yourself’, if you can learn a mindset shift that makes you feel more confident then we strongly believe you’ll reap a vast range of benefits in your personal and professional life.
When you feel confident, you’re more likely to take risks and move forward with your life. You’re also okay if things don’t work out as your confidence gives you strength to try again with little or no fear.
If your confidence is low, you’re less likely to try new things or form new relationships, and if things go wrong the first time round, you probably won’t put yourself back out there to try again.
It might help to think of confidence as how someone drives a car. A confident person driving a car will put fuel in it to travel to their destination. If that car broke down along the way, the confident person might find a garage, get it fixed, and head back along their path.
Someone with low self-esteem however might back out of the journey as soon as the car broke down. Why? Because they might feel that the task was too big for them and they’d much rather go home to where they feel comfortable.
People with high self-esteem tend to act confidently because they believe they can handle whatever happens.
Why do I lack confidence?
Everyone will lack confidence at some point in their life. If you’re lacking in confidence right now you might be experiencing stress or difficult life events.
Alternatively, if you feel you’ve lacked confidence for a long period of time then it may be due to a tough childhood or having extremely critical parents. Studies show a lot of people who lack self-esteem can relate this back to their early years. Various factors in home life can trigger a low confidence level, such as poverty, parents divorcing and stressful environments. These effects can last until adulthood and beyond.
Some people however are just more prone to negative thinking or might set impossibly high standards for themselves.
Can I learn how to be confident?
100% yes! You may not learn confidence overnight, but if you put the effort in and find the right resources to support you, you can most definitely learn how to be confident over time.
We recently wrote an article with tips on How To Be More Confident. The main things to overcome are:
Identify where and why you lack self-esteem
Get help with your mindset i.e. learn how to flip negative thoughts on their head (A CBT therapist is great for this)
Take risks and say ‘yes’ to opportunities you’d normally shy away from
Stand tall, make eye contact and slow your breathing; it’s amazing how a shift in posture and body language can help make you feel more confident
Be authentic. Remember confidence isn’t about being fake. It’s about being willing to be seen for who you actually are - this is one the key things to remember for building long-lasting confidence.
Surround yourself with kind, positive people. Talk to close friends about how you’re feeling.
Attend groups that help with low self-esteem. There are loads of support groups in the UK, or try one of our public speaking courses.
What areas in my life will confidence help with?
Below are just some of the benefits you’ll feel and experience when you work on building your confidence. However there are so many more benefits not listed here - the opportunities really are endless.
Your personal life
Self-confident people are happier people. This statement has been proven in numerous studies over the years. For example, a study published in the European Scientific Journal revealed psychological wellbeing, emotional self-efficacy and self-esteem explain 51% of the total variance regarding happiness. Another study also found that happier people are more confident in their thoughts. Confirming a direct correlation between the two.
Your relationships
Confidence is about believing your value and worth. If you’re in a relationship where there’s low self-esteem from one or both partners, this can lead to a jealous and insecure relationship. As such, this can make a partner fear their other half may leave or find someone else to replace them.
Being confident in a relationship comes back to a mindset shift. When you feel good about yourself, your attitude in a relationship is positive - and your partner will sense this. Two confident partners are able to love each other in a more secure way and lead a much happier life.
Your professional life
If you can be confident at work you’re more likely to ask questions, push for promotions and reach your career goals. This is because you believe in your self-worth. You believe you're worthy of more responsibilities, worthy of a pay rise and worthy of achieving your dreams.
Studies have proven the connection between confidence, belief and career-success. A recent study showed that 93% of confident people believe they could meet their one-year goals, and 90% believe they’ll meet their career-long objectives.
Confidence in the workplace however is something employers need to address. PA Life revealed a substantial 70% of professionals lack confidence in their career and speaking up at work. Without self-confidence, doubts may get in the way of taking risks and forming relationships with the people who are vital to pushing your career on, such as your boss, a Director or CEO.
If you think your workplace needs to support employees with feeling confident to speak up, share with your employer our Public Speaking Training for Business brochure.
Your health
Confidence can make you healthier? Yes, it’s true!
Confident people are more likely to take care of themselves, be active and make good decisions about food. Why? Because, confident people have a positive mental state which increases their emotional wellbeing, and in turn helps them make choices that are good for them.
There’s a lot to be said about the connection between optimism and good health too. Studies show optimism:
Reduces levels of stress
Promotes self-respect
Protects against depression
Creates excitement about the future
Sets the mood for the day
Reduces anxiety and worry
Who knew optimism could be so good for you!
Your confidence questions answered
Still have some burning questions about your lack of self-esteem? Below we’ve answered the most common concerns our students have. However, if you still have questions, do get in touch, we’d love to chat and help.
Why do I feel okay at home but lack confidence in the office?
Many of us feel comfortable in our own homes as it’s our safe haven. It’s a place where you won’t be judged, can relax, and just be yourself. Whereas at work, there are colleagues to interact with, challenges to overcome, and pressures from deadlines, expectations and peer relationships. With all of these elements to fight off, it’s understandable that 70% of professionals don’t feel confident at work.
One of the best ways to overcome this is to identify what exactly makes your self-esteem take a dip when in a workplace environment. Is it your colleagues? Your boss? The job in hand? It may be all three - and more. Try to take each factor and overcome it one by one. Your feelings won’t change overnight, but persevere and you will see the benefits.
Most of my family lack confidence, is that why I do too?
Studies suggest confidence can be hereditary, however there’s stronger evidence to say environmental factors when we are children play a bigger part. The higher the quality of a safe, nurturing and organised home environment when you are aged between 0 to 6 years, the higher your self-esteem in adulthood.
The study by University of Bern also showed that poverty within a family, and the lack of presence from a father or mother figure, correlated with a lesser self-esteem into adulthood.
Is being shy the same thing as lacking confidence?
No, being shy is not the same as lacking confidence. It’s easy to get the two muddled up, as the physical and mental side effects can cross over.
Shy - someone who is shy is nervous or timid when with other people because they feel anxious in these situations and feel more comfortable on their own.
Confidence - being confident however is having a belief in yourself and a faith in your abilities.
How do I appear more confident when presenting at work?
For us, confidence comes down to two things: A willingness to be seen for who you actually are (authenticity) and a belief that you are worthy of what you are doing.
When it comes to presenting at work you need to both believe you’re worthy of being there in front of your peers, and be consistently brave enough to show up as authentically as possible. This creates long-lasting confidence as the more you do this, the more you accept who you are.
Then, more simply, one of the best ways to feel more confident in your presentation is to practise it over and over again. Practise in front of close peers, friends and family too, to get used to how it feels. When a presentation is in your long-term memory, it’s much easier to talk an audience through it, which will in turn make you relax and feel more confident.
Read our Public Speaking Tips blog for even more advice. Better still, why not book yourself onto one of our Public Speaking Courses in London or online?
Want to talk to someone about your lack of self-esteem? Get in touch with us. Many of our trainers have overcome their confidence issues and would love to talk to you more about how you’re feeling.