How do you know if you have social anxiety?
Social anxiety. A phrase you may have pondered over if you find yourself feeling anxious or worried about social activities, whether that's meeting up with friends, going to work, or attending an event you've been invited to.
It may be that you simply have a shy nature. However, if you find yourself feeling overly fearful of social situations on an ongoing basis, then you could be experiencing what's called social anxiety.
If this is the case, firstly, we want to say, "don't worry". As a team of people who have all experienced a social anxiety disorder in our lives, we understand how you feel.
We also want you to know you're not alone.
Social anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions, with as many as 1 in 10 adults experiencing it.
To help you on your journey to being diagnosed and support you with overcoming your fear, we've written an article to explain everything you need to know about this type of anxiety in simple terms. No psychiatrist jargon.
What is social anxiety?
Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is an intense and overwhelming feeling that may happen before, during and after any type of social event. The social event doesn't have to actually be 'social', it's more to do with interacting with people. For example, whilst you may experience these feelings during a meal out with friends, you could also get social anxiety at work, and some children and teenagers encounter it at school.
What are the symptoms of social anxiety?
The main physical symptoms of social anxiety are:
Feeling anxious about everyday interactions with people - whether you know them or not
Intense worry about social occasions, even with good friends
Blushing, sweating, feeling sick or stumbling on words, when around people
You experience a panic attack before, during or after a social event
A lack of confidence and feeling like you're being judged when you say or do something
Dreading going to work or school, especially when you have to attend meetings and are expected to speak up in front of peers
You avoid eye contact when talking to others
Not everyone with social anxiety will feel all of these symptoms, they will vary from person to person. However, the indicators listed above tend to be the most commonly reported signs.
Are you born with social anxiety or does it develop with age?
You may be wondering if you've suffered with social anxiety all your life, or whether there was anything you could've done to prevent it. Social anxiety isn't actually something you're born with, it's a mental behaviour that develops with age. Most professionals believe social anxiety cultivates in your teenage years when you're most exposed to social situations, hormone changes and are constantly learning about how and where you fit in with the world around you.
There is some evidence that shows children who experience bullying are more likely to become socially anxious. And, other events in a child's life, such as a trauma, can also trigger it.
Social anxiety however can onset at any time in your life. There isn't always 'one thing' you can attribute it to. It can be a build up of a number of things you experience over time, and before you know it you've developed certain anxieties that you associate with individual situations.
Is social anxiety common?
There is a positive spin on having a social phobia - you're not alone. A whopping one in 10 adults in the UK experience social anxiety, therefore the good news is there are plenty of people who can relate to your feelings, and plus there's lots of help out there too.
Twice as many women are affected by social anxiety than men, but the figures are very close, which may suggest more women openly talk about their anxiety compared to male counterparts.
Can you get diagnosed for social anxiety?
If your social anxiety is affecting your day to day life, then it's highly recommended you get a diagnosis for it. Being professionally diagnosed will help you find the right path to overcome your fears much more quickly (than if you were to struggle along by yourself) as you'll be speaking with specialists who'll know the best effective treatments to try.
There are plenty of free online social anxiety tests. Whilst this might feel like the easy option as you won't have to talk to someone about your feelings, we really do encourage you to see a professional to ensure you get the best possible outcome.
An appointment with your GP is a good place to start, as they can then refer you to a psychiatrist or mental health specialist. Making the first step to get support is always the hardest part. But once you've reached out to a professional you'll be closer to getting a bespoke plan created just for you.
Will my social anxiety go by itself or do I need treatment?
You may be hopeful that your social anxiety will eventually go by itself. And, for some people this is the case, it may simply be a matter of time with more life experiences that help you overcome your fears. However, if you're being affected by your social anxiety every single day, then we would recommend seeing your GP who will direct you to the right treatment for you. We believe it's much better to seek support sooner rather than later to help you avoid missing out on enjoying milestone events and have a better quality of life.
How can I overcome social anxiety?
As with many anxiety challenges there is no one-size-fits all treatment. There are however a lot of different things you can try to find the solution that works best for you.
Based on our own social anxiety experiences, here are our recommended tips for overcoming your fears.
1. Ask for help
The first step to overcoming social anxiety is asking for help. This is a huge step to take, but trust us, once you've made it across this hurdle you'll find the path to beating social anxiety much easier - and much clearer. Get an appointment with your GP, or if you're already seeing a mental health professional you can speak to them too.
2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (also known as CBT) can seem daunting. But it's not as scary as you might think. You simply start your CBT journey by chatting to a mental health practitioner about your feelings, going into depth about where they happen and the possible reasons why. A CBT plan will then be developed for you which includes techniques to help you think and act in different ways in certain situations. The NHS offers a fantastic free CBT service called Talking Therapies. We've tried it ourselves, it's great. You don't even need a GP referral to get started.
3. Find social anxiety groups and courses
One of the reasons why our founder Michael started School of Connection was because he found support through attending a public speaking course to overcome his own fear of social anxiety. Michael wanted to pass his positive experiences and knowledge onto others struggling with confidence, anxiety and worries too. Today, most of the people who attend School of Connection's public speaking course have come to us because they're struggling with anxiety in some form or other. We find that not only do our students walk away with social skills they never thought they could obtain, but they also walk away with new connections and friends who understand exactly how they feel.
There are plenty of in-person and online support groups for social anxiety across the UK (and the world), or why not give one of our public speaking courses a go. You'll walk away with tools to become naturally confident in yourself, without putting on a 'fake it until you make it' facade.
4. Make lifestyle changes
Our final piece of advice is: make healthy lifestyle changes. We bet you’re rolling your eyes at this one! You’ve heard it all before.
When we say lifestyle changes we don't mean anything too drastic, just a few tweaks here and there to give yourself the best chance at managing your anxiety. There are some very easy adjustments you can make to your everyday routine that can have a really positive effect on how you feel.
Our top recommended lifestyle changes are:
Prioritise sleep
Whilst it might be tempting to watch Netflix until midnight, going to bed early and getting at least 7-9 hours sleep a night really helps with moods and overall wellbeing.
Eat regular, healthy meals
Yes, yes, something else you’ve heard before. But what you put into your body really does help it function properly. A diet high in sugar is only going to feed the possibility of a racing heart rate. A healthy balanced diet helps your moods, hormones and immune system stay more stable, which in turn will improve the management of your anxiety.
Drink alcohol in moderation
A bottle of wine or a few beers every night is only going to increase anxiety triggers and feelings. Lowering your alcohol intake as much as you can will help you stay level headed, be more alert and accomplish everyday situations in a more rational way.
Cut out the caffeine
A couple of cups of coffee in the morning and that’s enough for the day. Caffeine is another trigger for anxiety, so if you can reduce your lattes and cappuccinos you'll certainly feel the benefits.
Find a form of exercise you enjoy
Not everyone enjoys a session down at the gym. And, even if you don't think of yourself as a fitness-buff, there will still be a form of exercise out there for you. We promise. The mental health benefits (all well as the physical health benefits) you'll reap are huge.
Give a few things a go until you find the right activity for you. Think outside the box too, you could try dancing, paddle boarding, surfing, rock climbing, skateboarding, horse riding, or even ice skating. The list is endless!
We wish you all the best with overcoming and managing your social anxiety. If you want to explore building confidence and communication skills? Check out our courses here.
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